Blue eyed boy
by JacquiMelissa
Summary: Axel's thoughts after Roxas leaves. AkuRoku, implied Axel/Marluxia, but don't worry, only a little. Might make this an ongoing fic if people like it. Rated T for swearing and mentions of secks.


Enjoyy. ^_^

* * *

I remember the first day I saw him.

His eyes. That's what I noticed first. No matter how much of Roxas I'll forget, I'll never forget his eyes.  
Sometimes it seemed that he thought he could hide behind his eyes. If he frowned hard enough, everyone would think he was okay. I came to know when his eyes were lying.  
Sometimes, his eyes looked like they could cry a river, and drown the whole world.  
Most of the time, he made his eyes look brave.  
He made them lie. He made them his shield. But they were never without _fire. _So much life. When he laughed, his eyes shone, glittered. When he touched me, his eyes would flash with mystery, and a million untold secrets.  
And then he was gone.  
I couldn't reach out and touch him. Couldn't watch his eyes put up their barricades, watch him lie, watch him cry, watch as the laughter lit up those _beautiful _eyes.

He was gone. Forever.

The hours blurred into days, weeks, I meandered aimlessly through my broken life. In truth, I was a mess. He was my _everything.  
_I worked as efficiently as before, more so, in fact. I had nothing to live for, but I still had to live. I tried to fill the void with hard work, and pointless sex. But nothing compared to Roxas.

'Axel?'  
Marluxia crept up behind me slowly, tracing his index finger along the white marble banister.  
'What do you want, Marly?'  
'Hmm, just wondering if you're busy.' His voice was seductive, it made me nauseous.  
But I wasn't a liar. 'Nope.'  
'Want to find somewhere a little more private?' He slipped his arms round my waist, and I decided not to bother pointing out that we were the only ones in the room.  
'No thanks.'  
He growled, low and feral. 'I thought you liked it when I fucked you?'  
I sighed, pushing his arms away and moving forward before turning to face him.  
'What do you want, Mar?'  
'I want what I can't have.' His voice was irritated, but equally he sounded genuinely upset. 'I want you. But I can't have you. Because ever since that blue-eyed _freak _Roxas went away, you've just let me have you because the one who stole your heart is gone. Well, that little fuck had better know how lucky he is.'  
With that, he turned and stalked in the other direction.

My mind went to Roxas immediately. I hadn't realised before, but, maybe Marly was right. I had tried to bury these feelings but maybe they just wouldn't go away. Roxas was mine.

I had to go to him.

Twilight Town. The epitome of a quiet, perfect life. If he had to end up anywhere, I was glad it was there. I meandered through the empty streets. The sound of cheering reached my ears.  
'_Roxas! Roxas! Roxas! Roxas!' _I followed the distant chants in the vain hope of finding him. After much navigating of backroads, I found him.

My heart stopped. For so long, I had been without him. And now I had finally found him again. They had told me that he wasn't the same. That he had forgotten. But he hadn't seen me yet. Perhaps, if they were telling the truth, there was some way that I could make him remember.  
I clapped into the silence. And then he looked at me. Confusion was etched onto his beautiful face.

But something was horribly, horribly wrong.

His eyes. They had no light. No beauty. They were dead. He wasn't hiding behind them. He looked vulnerable, innocent.  
'Roxas, all right, fight, fight, fight!'  
He looked at me. His eyes betrayed him, showed me what he was feeling. They had been right. Something had gone _very _wrong.  
'You really don't remember?' I asked, trying to keep the hurt out of my voice. 'It's me, Y'know, _Axel._'  
I slid my hood down, and hid behind my own eyes.  
He frowned slightly. 'Axel?' I let the sound of his voice wash over me like a gentle wave.  
'Talk about blank with a capital B. Man-oh-man, even the dusks aren't going to crack this one.' My hands felt hot, and I could feel the spinning warmth of my chakrams as they formed in midair and settled into my palms.'  
'Wait a sec! Tell me what's going on!'  
I became painfully aware of the fact that I was intruding on _his_ world. But I kept up my cocky facade.

'This town is his creation, right? Which means we don't have time for a Q & A. You're coming with me, conscious or not. Then you'll hear the story.' I span my chakrams a few times for good measure, trying to convey some confidence that I wasn't feeling. The town around us began to distort and blur. I panicked. They knew I was here.  
'Uh oh.' I glanced round me, and then looked at Roxas.  
He was angry. This pleased me. It was as if he was back. My Roxas.  
'What's going on?!' He yelled, and in the next second, his keyblade flew through the air and skidded loudly across the stone floor.  
I watched as the keyblade re-appeared in his hand, as I knew it would. But that didn't matter. Roxas was back.  
'Number thirteen. Roxas.' I stated proudly. 'The keyblade's chosen one.'  
I span my chakrams, trying to coax the anger out of him.  
'Okay, fine!' He shouted, brandishing the key. 'You asked for it!' He leapt at me, he wanted to hurt me, wanted to make me feel his pain. And I welcomed it. Every time it looked like he was calming down, I attacked, I wasn't going to have this moment end. We wove round each other, hitting and burning, shouting and smashing, and dancing our lover's dance.

Nothing could ruin this moment, this feeling. Or so I thought.

Then he came.  
'So it was you.' I asked the robed figure. Roxas was numb again. There was no rage in his eyes anymore.  
I was furious. I leapt into the air, my hands felt hot, I felt the fire burning my palms as the chakrams span by my fingertips. I launched them at him, but they rebounded off as if they had hit solid glass, soaring back to me in a blur of red.  
'Roxas, this man speaks nonsense!'  
'_Shit.' _I thought, _'He's going to ruin everything.'  
_'Roxas! Don't let him deceive you!' I begged, I was so close... So close...  
'Roxas!' His voice was commanding, fury swept over me.  
'Roxas!' I yelled, pleading.  
'Roxas!'  
'Roxas!'  
We kept up our battle, each of us trying to win him over. Then I saw that it was hurting him. But I couldn't stop, I couldn't let go, not now.  
'Roxas!' I screamed, I had to get through to him.  
And then he was talking. I couldn't hear him over my own yelling. He was covering his ears, trying to drown me out. This only spurred me on more.  
'Roxas!'  
And then he did something extraordinary.  
'HAYNER, PENCE, OLETTE!'  
I felt the world come back to itself around me. I panicked, quickly teleporting back to the castle.  
I'd be damned if that was the last time I was going to try. I needed him, more than I needed to breathe. He was like a drug, I had so much of him in my system, I couldn't be without the pure, shining ecstasy that was my Roxas.  
My Roxas, with the eyes of stone and heart of steel. The Roxas that somewhere, in between the sex and the lies, I had gone and fallen in love with.

-

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